Its official (in my mind)! the only places that can make amazing burgers are breweries and pubs! I’ve been to some of the “best” burger joints in town, and all are highly disappointing. FAB burgers are too small, Just burgers are too dry, Burger edge is too plain.. arguably the three best burger joints in town are failures!

Although they are far from the worst.. very far from the worst… the following is a list of the worst…

#5: FAB steak burger

While there was nothing wrong with the taste (which was exceptionally normal.. not good, normal) the size was just ridiculous. for $15 (on special from 18.50!) I got a burger 1/3 the size of a normal dining plate. I could fit it in the palm of my hand for gods sake!  The height was no taller than the length of an average middle finger either, which was what I wanted to point at the owners!

#4: Curtin Library Cafes Works Burger

Its a towering task, yet wierdly small. They stack the burger up so high that you cant fit it in your mouth, however I’ve seen far bigger burgers that are much more manageable. The burger is just too thin, stupid really. Besides the proportions the meat is clearly low-grade, the salads are soggy, the sauce is scarce and the buns are undercooked… go to the Tav if you want something decent

#3: Bucking Bull Innaloos steak burger

The softest, soggiest patty I have ever witnessed.. and its meant to be steak! It literally falls apart in your hands!  Theres redemption at the Hillaries franchise where proper steak is indeed used

#2: Hungry Jacks Whitfords Whopper

Hungry jacks are usually just edible by my standards.. not good, but if theres no other options I don’t mind.. this encounter changed that though. I open the wrapping of my Whopper and bam! sauce is just everywhere! its smothered all over the packaging, the bun is soaked in Mayo, its seeped all through the salad and in a matter of seconds the whole burger is soggy as hell, burgers are NOT meant to be soggy!

#1: MacDonalds Kingsway Grand Angus…

Was anyone other than Maccas expected to get this? I was completely sober, and starving.. the only place open nearby was macdonalds so we went there, three of us went for Angus burgers as they are apparently slightly better quality.. All three of us vommited later that night.. one before we even left the carpark! Macdonalds makes the worst burgers the world has ever tasted.


Note to self, never eat a burger again unless its from a Brewery or Pub!