A list of everywhere I’ve stayed at least three days for – from best to worst… because I’m bored and nostalgic about holidaying.

1. Russbach (Austria) — Snowboarding, Cheap beer… nuff said

2. Munich (Germany) — The home of beer, oldest brewery in the world

3. Queenstown (New Zealand) — Adventure capital of the world, snowboarding, thousands of students

4. Cape Leveque (Western Australia) — Serene, amazing beaches, fishing, away from civilisation

5. Axamer (Austria) — Olympic snowboard run, pub halfway down the slope

6. Tioman Island (Malaysia) — Like a private island, huge lizards! Even more huge tides.

7. Wedge Island (Western Australia) — Mecca

8. Vienna (Austria) — Amazing street parties, amazing people

9. Byron Bay (Queensland) — Pretty much a developed version of Wedge Island

10. Kota Kinabalu (Malaysia) — 5 star resort, huge mountain, pristine beaches

11. Cebu (Phillipines) — 5 star resort, private island, kayakakakakaking

12. Franz Josef (New Zealand) — Glacier walking, biggest company is internet in a bus

13. Walpole (Western Australia) — Quiet relaxed town in the bush

14. Denmark (Western Australia) — Amazing bakery, cool looking river

15. Pemberton (Western Australia) — Mud houses!

16. Exmouth (New South Wales) — Amazing fishing, warm waters

17. Betong (Thailand) — Quiet, away from polluted major cities

18. Lake Tekapo (New Zealand) — Most pristine lake ever

19. Margaret River (Western Australia) — Best breweries in Australia

20. Coffs Harbour ( New South Wales) — Every beach is a nude beach

Zipf (Austria) — The whole town works at the only industry there – a brewery.

Gundagai (NSW) — Amazing tiny town in rural NSW

Christchurch (NZ) — Probably cooler now that everything is broken

Collie (WA) — Sleepy mining town with fun decommissioned trains

Salzburg (Austria) — A whole town devoted to salt… and pastry called “fuckers”

Bunbury (WA) — Best pub crawl in ever

Singapore (Malaysia) — Eerily clean and well organised

Lancelin (WA) — Best pies, gateway to Wedge

Perth (WA) — Relaxed, isolated and close to the bush

Branau (Austria)

Sydney (NSW) — Great food, and that whole harbour thingy

Surfers Paradise (QLD) — Good old pub atmosphere

Dunsborough (WA) — Gateway to the Southwest breweries, nice beaches

Pattaya (Thailand) — polluted, nice food though

Shark Bay (WA) — Nice beach… that’s about all

Augusta (WA)

Jurien Bay (WA)

Woollongong (NSW)

Albany (WA) — Decent (cold) beach, good beer

Newcastle (NSW)

Phuket (Thailand) — Too crowded, decent nightlife

Dubbo (NSW)

Hong Kong

Brisbane (QLD)

Harvey (WA)

Cervantes (WA)

Bangkok (Thailand)

Dachau (Austria) — It’s pretty much just a concentration camp

Marrinup (WA)

Gracetown (WA)

Bali (Indonesia) — Polluted, overcrowded, run down… cheap produce just breaks or makes you sick

Melbourne (VIC) — Shopping, cold beaches, shit weather, coffee, nightclubs… great recipe for boredom.

Gaungzhou (China) — Dead animals everywhere, disgusting smell and decrepit buildings

Geraldton (WA) — Bird shit burgers. Nuff said.

Shenzhen (China) — Worst place to live ever.